pokemon and gundam

06 Jan, 2025

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> i spent my first christmas away from my family this year. i felt deflated. my feet were stuck in november, there was no snow in canada on christmas day. i made my grandmothers recipie for cheesy potatoes for the first time too, only she wasn't there to help me. i did not even write any letters this year, even though i've been staring for days at the long list of names who would've all received one.

> oh and no, i did not come anywhere close to completing NanoWrimo.

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> my boyfriend and i made frequent stops at a gamestore in town during this gray and dreary month. the fellow who runs it has a genuine and childlike awe for the game and crafts he deals in. my love uses this particular store as his one stop shop for all his warhammer needs, while i am left to wander and gander at the various wares and goodies. i found myself drawn many times over toward the shelf of gunpla figures. mind you, i had not yet been convinced of a purchase, more keen to replenish my stock of paints now that i had moved countries.

> earlier that same month a friend of mine discovered my very old collection of hand painted pokemon cards. at the time i made them i had only dollar store metallic acrylic paints and one fat paint brush, but i had done what i could to make them look like complete pieces. his exclimation of love for theses cards made me crave once more to pick up traditional paints. when my order of HIMI gouche paints came in, i began painting pokemon cards again.

> having now quenched my thirst for painting, on these trips to the gamestore i began to seriously consider buying a gundam kit. my lovely partner noticed my yearning and convinced me to finally make the purchase. i've built it but not yet painted it and i soon plan to make a shrine to show off this model and those i have in the future

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃

> there are only 6 pages left in my journal. i thought it would have been romantic or poetic somehow to have finshed it on new years eve but i knew myself well enough to know i could not have done that, especially because i planned to.

> i struggled greatly with my writing projects this past month, i cannot hold myself accountable to the work i want to be doing. in order to overcome this i've joined several writing groups and a book club in order to fascilitate a small amount of structure into my writing. hopefully it helps but i am mostly excited to find more like minded people. i never realized how hard it is to find community or even just a friend.

> of friends; i have many. i know i am lucky to say so. since moving here i've met many people, all lovely. i spent my new years at a party for the first time. this year was full of new things for me. as terrifying as its been to feel suddenly thrust into being an adult i still continue to look forward to this frightening newness.

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> deep in mountainous woods, my pen casts a dancing shadow across my page, flame flickering. off-roading terrified me, the car jumped like salmon over waterfalls, relentless tires on cardboard bridges. i have to be careful, the trees drip tears on me, my ink runs rivers of my words. we came to see the northern lights but clouds and fog rise out of the woods and seep into the low sky. great billowing factory of smoke.

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じしˍ,)ノ... goodbye!